hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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