is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
