we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
