marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
