She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
do herpes really smell.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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