you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So squirting runs in the family.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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