So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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