just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
