Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
