There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize