I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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