Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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