that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
