think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize