I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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