i think my mom watched the whole time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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