i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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