I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
