I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my sisters under your porch take her home
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
