I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
