So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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