I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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