YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
