We're facebook friends in real life
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
