Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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