do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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