found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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