I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
