He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
