just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
