i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
