If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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