Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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