Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
