somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize