She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize