oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She announced her abortion via fbk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize