What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
