I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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