So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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