fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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