their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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