somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
