State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
