garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Say something about gay babies.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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