Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
