I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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