Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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