I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
