i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
