She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
