yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
