Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
