i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
