His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
