So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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