ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
