Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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