return my video game
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
